Friday, January 6, 2012

Bongs & Sensimilla & One-Hitters, Oh, My!

In my continued struggle with boundaries and appropriate parenting, I found myself at dinner last night with my boyfriend, his daughter and her boyfriend, talking about bongs, sensimilla and one hitters, oh my.

We began our family discussion with a summary of the television show, Breaking Bad, a show which I haven’t seen, but of which I learned was about a high school chemistry teacher, diagnosed with lung cancer, who turns to producing and selling methamphetamine so his family is taken care of when he dies. How noble.

This wasn’t the first time meth came up in a family discussion. I know, how lucky can I get. My boyfriend’s thirteen year old son plays an X-Box game called, Saints Row, that allows him to own shares in a crystal meth lab. We are so proud. What the F’ is going on out there? Whatever happened to Pac-Man, Centipede or the Super Mario Brothers?

I know this is naive of me and the times they have a changed but teaching kids how to invest in a meth lab?! Why not a brothel? A BDSM Dungeon? Crack House? Abortion clinic? Too far? The point is, what the F? But let’s return to last night’s dinner.

After my boyfriend and I were schooled on the profitability of a meth lab, we got on the topic of smoking pot, or as my parents liked to call it, grass. Adorable. My boyfriend’s daughter asked her father if he had ever smoked pot. I sat frozen in anticipation. Was he going to tell her the truth? And if he did, how much was he going to divulge? Oh, he went for it all right.

He told them how he used to smoke a lot before he got married, and how pot back then was so much better than it is today, and how he had a bad trip the last time he smoked, a few years ago. I threw up my hands. After all, if he didn’t have a problem with the subject matter, then why should I?

I regaled the kids with memories of the last time my boyfriend and I got stoned. “We were playing scrabble and then the ‘grass’ kicked in, and we had to stop. (Picture me gesticulating widely and smiling like a mental patient) So then we started eating! Ha! We couldn’t stop laughing. I think we got the pot from my brother’s friend. Oh, we laughed.” I’m not sure how I had the good sense to leave out the part where we hopped into bed and sucked face (and other body parts) until we passed out, but I did. See, boundaries.

Holy shit nuggets, I sounded like a complete ass. I was that 40-year old frat guy who’s still bragging about the time he got so wasted that he fell asleep on a neighbor’s driveway and it poured but he was so wasted that he didn’t even wake up.

I wanted to hurl myself into the french doors. Why were we talking about this with the kids? It wasn’t right. It felt weird. But in some perverse and messed up way, I wanted to share. Maybe it was the moment. Maybe it was the attention. Maybe I wanted to show them that dad and I were way cooler than her mom and her boyfriend. Real mature Girlfriend Mom.

Or maybe I still don’t know what I'm doing.

12 comments:

Leah Marie said...

Well, I say its better than lying about it. They'd know you were lying anyway and that seems worse, to me.

We're all just doing the best we can, right?

thegirlfriendmom said...

So true. My parents were always honest with us. Maybe to a fault but yes, we're all doing the best we can. Thanks for stopping by.

Caffeinated OC Mommy said...

Darling, there are some topics that you need to...LIE your ass off! xoxo

thegirlfriendmom said...

I know! But he started it and I really do suck at lying. I just have to try a little harder. Thanks doll.

John said...

I think you did right. I never lied to my girls, however, their ages determined how much information I divulged. When they get to the age where they are asking you to take them for a pregnancy test, there really is no issue of talking about weed. WAAAAY past that point. :-)

thegirlfriendmom said...

Whoa, I'm glad I won't have to take anyone for a pregnancy test. I'm not sure I could handle that. Thanks for stopping by.

Annie said...

I think honesty is a good thing...especially when they are older. This Christmas I had the same conversation with my brood. Let's just say I got carried away. I even went so far as to tell them the story of the Christmas that my 80 year-old grandfather decided he didn't want to die without finding out what all the fuss was about so my brother drove up to the college campus and scored some "pot" on Christmas Eve no less. Bottom line, my grandfather continued to take hit after hit saying he didn't feel it, but the next morning all the Christmas cookies were gone. Should I have deprived my kids of that golden nugget?

thegirlfriendmom said...

Oh, Annie, u make me laugh. It's because you're a sharerer that you told the little ones that terrific tale. They're better people for having heard it.

Kathy said...

I think this is one of those times where you have the benefit or the curse of being the "Girlfriend mom". Your boyfriend opened it up and you went with the flow. I was raised with way too much information on my mother so I'm pretty careful, but I don't think lying is the way to go either, especially at her age. I think it's great that you think about this and that you care. I think she is very lucky to have you in her life!!

thegirlfriendmom said...

To this day, seriously only hours ago, my mother won't own up to the no-boundary, overly informed and open way she and my dad parented. AH! I do care, almost to the point of annoying myself. Thanks for reading and for following. Hope you had a nice weekend. xo

mamawolfe said...

I remember reading somewhere once that kids really don't want long elaborate answers to questions like this, and that we parents usually give way too much information. You are not alone!

thegirlfriendmom said...

I totally agree! And vice versa. I don't think that parents really want to hear every little thing. Thanks for the shout out!