Thursday, February 16, 2012

Are You A Girlfriend Mom or Do You Know One?

GIRLFRIEND MOMS
My dear and faithful readers,

I'm doing research for a book that I'm currently writing about women in my situation. I live with a divorced man with kids, and I don't have any biological children of my own... at least that I'm aware of.

There must be women out there in similar situations. As a friend so eloquently noted, "Stepmom's were Girlfriend Mom's at one point." So true.

If you, or someone who know, fits the bill, please forward this post. I'll never share any personal information without permission.

I'm looking for women's personal experiences, struggles, and conflicts. I'm hoping to find a community of women. 

Please leave a comment, leave an email address or contact me. Thank you mucho.
FIND GIRLFRIEND MOMS

15 comments:

Annie said...

Definitely was a girlfriend mom for about 8 years before I got married (coming up on a year this April.) I also have lots of experience from the other side because my kids were raised by a girlfriend mom when my ex started over. Yikes. I'm doubling up!

mrsmomx6 said...

I know a couple of ladies that currently, or used to fit this bill. I will totally get back with you.

I wish I could get in on this one :)

Best of luck and let me know when you're done, I sooooo want to read this!

Sharon

thegirlfriendmom said...

Annie: Doubling, shmoubling... you're just a wealth of knowledge. I will be picking your brain, if that's okay. xo

Sharon: Can't you lie and say that you're a GM?! Don't fret, I'll be using you for something! Hell, I'll create something for you. You can send your ladies to me through my blog. Thank you so much for your help. xo

Just Jen said...

I have been a girlfriend mom for almost 2 years now with my boyfriend who has been going through a divorce for over 3 years (frustrating!). We live together with my 2 children, and his children are here once a week and every other weekend. I love the term "girlfriend mom" - it so fits what I am!!!

thegirlfriendmom said...

Thanks for loving the term... I'm putting together some questions and would love to forward to you, if you were up to it. Let me know where I can email you (never to be sold or forwarded) in private. Thanks so much for stopping by.

Debbie said...

I wasn't a girlfriend mom for long because I soon became a stepmom. I kinda think it's the same thing. I never had my own children so the stress of having kids around AT ALL was HARD. Just reading some of these comments is bringing me anxiety! LOL! I can tell you one thing ... I don't think I'd do it over again. I sound horrible huh? Very hard to go from having a single lifestyle with no responsibilities to then having a husband and two step kids. It was VERY, very hard.

thegirlfriendmom said...

A SM and GM are very similar but there's something about the unmarried part, and how custody is defined, that changes the landscape. What I'm interested in is the fact that you and I never had kids of our own. That adds a whole stressy layer! I'm anxious every day over this crap! And no, you don't sound horrible. That's what I want women to know. What we're doing is not natural and is challenging and it is okay to feel whatever it is we're feeling. I sent you an email about continuing this conversation further. Thank you so much for commenting. xo

Laurel Ann Walker said...

I became a stepmom so soon after becoming a girlfriend mom because girlfriend mom wasn't in the legal picture for us... So, I was a girlfriend mom before I was a stepmom. Love the blog!

http://one-girl-vs-world.blogspot.com

Just Jen said...

It a tremendous situation to be in - a girlfriend mom versus a step mom - even if you have kids of your own. When you blend a family together without a "formal" piece of paper that says legally you have a "claim" (so to speak) to these kids, it carries an emotional burden that I personally have a hard time with. Especially when you have a difficult/challenging birth mom situation. It's nice to have support from others in the same situation!

thegirlfriendmom said...

Laurel Ann,

Thank for stopping by. I'm going to hit you up for some experiences and struggles when I've put my questionnaire together. I hope you're in.

Just Jen,
I'm so glad that you connected and you're right, it's nice to know that there's support out there so that I'm not just flapping in the wind. I'll be in touch. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

I was a GM for about 4 years until my ex and I broke up. I'm now married to a different man and we dont have kids. It's very challenging being a GM and can definitely cause issues in a relationship. It is different than being a stepmom because you get even less recognition.

thegirlfriendmom said...

That's a very interesting point about the recognition part. Every encounter is unique. I'm sure breaking up after 4 years was not pleasant for anyone and difficult for the kids (I suppose depending on their ages) Thanks for commenting.

ericajoy said...

I am a current gf mom! I would love to share my stories and seek advice from others! Ericajporter@yahoo.com

Jess said...

I sent you an email this morning...get in touch :-)

Anonymous said...

So relieved finding this community of women! I am currently the girlfriend mom/fiancee mom...but am soon taking the step mom plunge, and am freaked out that it never gets easier, even with the new title acknowledgement...you're still the step, which is never painted in a pretty light..."Evil Stepmom" seems to resonate...I would love to connect, and cannot wait for the book...Melissa (Mcobb04@yahoo.com)